The perpetrator’s economic abuse can make caring for children more challenging.
This page gives information on some of the options to help you and your children reach safety. It also outlines some financial support that may be available.
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Economic abuse and children
Perpetrators of economic abuse use many tactics to gain power and control. If you have children, these tactics will impact them too.
An abuser may use or involve children in their behaviour in any of the following ways:
- refusing to pay child maintenance payments, paying too little or making payments unreliably
- stopping you from accessing benefit payments that you or your children are entitled to
- taking the child benefit or other benefits provided for the children
- stealing children’s savings, pocket money or birthday money
- stealing the children’s belongings or destroying their property
- refusing to pay for essential items like nappies, milk and clothes
- using threats related to children (for example that they won’t give any money to you and the children if you leave)
- threatening to take you to court for custody of the children if you do not give them money
- convincing you that you won’t be able to support the children if you leave
Any of these actions may form part of the abuser’s pattern of behaviour to control you and your children. They may prevent you from being able to leave and live independently. The abuser may also do any of these things to try to control you after you have separated.
The abuser may not use the children as part of the abuse. However, the abuse may still affect them. For example, you may struggle to provide the basics for your children because the abuser is restricting your income, stopping you from working or forcing you to pay back debts the abuser built up in your name.
We have information on reaching safety if you or your children are in immediate danger or need support.
The Domestic Abuse Act
The Domestic Abuse Act (2021) for England and Wales recognises children as victims of domestic abuse. They are victims of domestic abuse if they see, hear or experience the effects of domestic abuse. This applies if the child is related to the victim or to the abuser. This change means statutory services can better support children affected by domestic abuse.
Finding somewhere safe to live
Finding somewhere safe to live may be your top priority if you are planning to leave the abuser.
You may prefer to leave in a safe and planned way. If you are at risk of harm, you may need to leave immediately. Your options may include:
- staying with a family member or friend temporarily
- accommodation in a refuge
- accommodation provided by the local authority
- taking steps to ensure you can stay in your own home safely if the abuser has left.
We have more information on financial support for housing costs below.
Our information on finding a safe place to live includes more detail on these and other options.
Financial support
Economic abuse can leave you struggling to afford essentials, especially if you have children to care for. An abuser may tell you that you could not cope financially without them. However, support is available for you and your children.
You can contact your local authority’s Family and Children’s Services department to ask for financial support. They may be able to provide this under section 17 of the Children Act 1989.
This law means they have a duty to safeguard and promote the welfare of all ‘children in need’ in their local area. The support they can offer will depend on your circumstances. They may be able to provide help with the cost of food, gas or electricity, for example.
There may be a Family Liaison Officer or Safeguarding Lead at your child’s school. This person may be able to help you contact the local authority for financial support.
Some organisations give grants to people in financial difficulty. There may be specific grants to help you care for children after abuse.
Buttle UK offer grants for families and children facing crisis situations, including domestic abuse. You can find out more about whether you’re eligible and apply here.
Find further information on grants that you may be eligible for.
If you have left your home due to domestic abuse, you may be able to get Housing Benefit for temporary accommodation, such as a refuge. You can read more about eligibility for Housing Benefit here.
If you get Universal Credit, you can get an extra amount of money to pay towards your housing costs. Find out more about Universal Credit (housing element) here.
You may be entitled to small grants or housing support from your local council. They may also signpost you to local charities that can offer help too. You can find details of what support is available locally on your local council’s website.
National housing charities such as Shelter can also help you access grants via a referral to your local council. You can find out more about how to contact them here or use their directory to find out how your local council can help here.
If you have ‘no recourse to public funds’, it is important that you speak to a qualified immigration adviser immediately about your rights and options.
For free, confidential, legal advice on immigration and asylum law, you can call Rights of Women’s Immigration and Asylum Law Line on 020 7490 7689.
Depending on your circumstances, you may be able to apply for government benefits. Some benefits are available to help you support your children:
- The Department for Work and Pensions has information on financial support for victims of domestic abuse.
- Turn2us has a benefits calculator that you can use for information on benefits to support your children.
- You can find detailed information on benefits on the Gingerbread website. This includes information about Child Benefit, Housing Benefit, Universal Credit, and tax credits.
Reporting a change in circumstances
If you already claim benefits jointly with the abuser, it is important to report a change in circumstances following domestic abuse. This will mean you can receive the benefits separately from the abuser.
Reporting a change in circumstances can sometimes affect the benefits the abuser receives. Think carefully about whether doing this could lead to further abuse. You can seek support from your local domestic abuse service if this is a risk for you.
You can report a change in circumstances using the Child Benefit online service.
You can also call 0300 200 3100 (Mon–Fri, 8am–6pm).
Child Benefit is not part of Universal Credit. You will need to report changes even if you are separately claiming Universal Credit.
Some abusers claim that children are living with them so that they can claim Child Benefit. If this is a concern for you, your local domestic abuse service can support you to report any changes in relation to Child Benefit.
If you get Universal Credit, you should receive more if you have children.
You can report changes to an existing Universal Credit claim using your Universal Credit online account (if you have one).
You can also contact the Universal Credit helpline on 0800 328 5644 (Mon–Fri, 8am–6pm).
Your Universal Credit online account may have a journal function. You can use this to record the abuse you have experienced. This means that future decisions about your situation can take this into account.
If you are working, you may be able to get financial support with your childcare costs. You may be able to get 30 hours of free childcare a week through the Free Childcare for Working Parents scheme. You can find out more about the scheme here.
Gingerbread has detailed information about childcare. This may help you understand your options and any benefits you may be able to claim.
The government’s childcare calculator can also help you work out:
- what support you might be able to get
- what would give you the most support.
The government website has information about your options for support with childcare costs.
Child maintenance
Child maintenance can keep you tied to an abuser long after the relationship has ended. Many abusers withhold child maintenance or make payments unreliably to continue the abuse long after separation.
Abusers may refuse to pay child maintenance if they do not see the child. If they are paying, they may try to tell you how to spend the money. This can be very distressing and can affect your economic stability. Both parents are responsible for supporting the children financially, regardless of access arrangements. The abuser has no right to tell you how to spend the money or to ask for proof of this.
Some survivors wish to cut all ties with the abuser and do not claim child maintenance for this reason. However, the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) may be able to contact the abuser on your behalf to arrange payments. The CMS can:
- calculate how much should be paid
- arrange payments and take action if payments are not made
- help find the other parent if needed.
If the abuser refuses to pay child maintenance, in some cases the CMS may be able to:
- find out why they have not paid
- arrange for them to pay what they owe
- warn them about what may happen if they do not pay. This may include:
- taking money directly from their earnings or benefits
- taking money from a bank or building society account
- taking court action.
There are two ways in which payments may be made if you use the CMS:
- Direct Pay – The CMS calculates payment amounts. You arrange payment directly with the other parent.
- Collect and Pay – The CMS collects payment from the other parent and passes this on to you. It can be used if the CMS believes that the paying parent is otherwise ‘unlikely to pay’.
Gingerbread has detailed information on using the Child Maintenance Service. Its website includes information about fees and charges. It also information about domestic abuse and child maintenance.
If the abuser lives abroad
This can make it harder to enforce payment of child maintenance. A reciprocal enforcement maintenance order (REMO) is an international agreement to help enforce child maintenance payments. This can be used if one parent lives abroad. A REMO can also help a parent living abroad claim maintenance from the parent living in the UK.
Emotional support
You may wonder how you can support your children emotionally as well as practically following abuse.
- Women’s Aid has a website called The Hide Out. This can help children and young people understand domestic abuse and cope with the effects.
- Older children might find the website Love is Respect helps them understand what’s going on.
- The Domestic Violence Intervention Project provides therapy for children affected by domestic violence. This can provide a safe place for children to explore what they have been feeling.
- Childline has information tailored for children and young people, as well as a dedicated helpline children can contact for support.
These websites might help you talk about abuse with your children. Your child’s school or your doctor’s surgery may be able to refer them for counselling if this would be helpful.
Last updated November 2025
Further support
If you are experiencing economic abuse, you are not alone. There are more organisations that can help you. We have more information that can support you to take steps towards safety and begin to regain control of your finances.
